Warm feeling of welcome

Waking on Wednesday morning, Trump triumphant, western politicians felt a warm feeling spreading down their legs.

The Foreign Office issued their usual insincere congratulatory message (composed in advance for each scenario), and the Grauniad, already leaking money like a gushing pipe, hired a psychiatrist to help their traumatised staff. (Honestly Katharine, even before the Yanks’ election, your staff were already too far gone as to be beyond help.)

The sound of modern antisocial media is of tears and incoherent screams of those whose unused brains cannot hold more than half a thought at a time – David Lammy and much of the TikTok generation. like him. On normal days no one would be looking at their unreasoned shouting at the air through a mobile, but it has become such a tonic to American conservatives that the screams these empty-headed solipsists have been played over and over again to such delight, as proof indeed that opposition to The Donald is opposition to Reason itself. Tears are ambrosia to the Trumpist.

And we are left with David Lammy, and his many colleagues. Incontinent with their attacks over many years, again on a man they had never met, now they are expected to deal with him. In America, journalists and paid commentators have for years been liberal with the use of the accusation “Nazi”. Here, I think the last foreign secretary who described an important foreign leader with that word was Anthony Eden, describing Hitler. But Mr Lammy assures us it a word he meant to be taken lightly. I hope he don’t say that to the Polish government.

When Mr Lammy has stopped gibbering, well, is there any chance he can be sacked for gross uselessness? Dealing with the Trump government by sending a man who has effectively accused their president of planning total war and the murder of millions is, in Foreign Office jargon, ‘more than somewhat embarrassing’. For one thing, it tells then we are sending a total idiot.

I am sorry for getting all serious though. There is a carnival atmosphere on the web and I want to go out and drink deep the heady draughts of flagons of Liberal Tears.